The New Era of Marriage for the Post-80s Generation

Chapter 2: I, Tong Jiaqian, Have Changed My Mind

Chapter 2: I, Tong Jiaqian, Have Changed My Mind The next day, I sat on the back of the motorcycle, wrapping my arms around Liu Yiyang’s waist and resting my face against his back. This bike had been with Liu Yiyang for over three years, and no other woman had ever sat on the back seat besides me. After I gave birth to Jinjin, Liu Yiyang said, “I can finally give a ride to a second beauty.” I teased him, “By the time Jinjin can sit up, will you still be riding this old clunker? Don’t you know that in this day and age, standing still means falling behind?” On the day Liu Yiyang and I registered our marriage, he didn’t ride the motorcycle; he took me in a taxi instead. I was already pregnant with Jinjin at the time, and he said, “Until you give birth, you must stay away from this dangerous mode of transportation.” ““You know it’s dangerous, yet you still ride it nonstop?” I’ve always viewed this motorcycle as a thorn in my side. “Because of eight words: economical and practical, convenient and fast. Plus, your husband’s riding skills are top-notch—it’s absolutely safe.” “Husband? Who’s my husband?” “Me, Liu Yiyang. Isn’t that about to happen any minute now?” But today, he’s about to stop being my husband. I gave him the prime of my youth, and in return, I got a love that prioritized the spiritual, a daughter crying for food, and eighteen pounds of extra weight. The marriage registration office was still the same one where we’d registered our marriage; nothing had changed. Even the right half of the door, which a year ago had a note saying “This door is broken,” was still broken. The only difference was that the note had been replaced with an arrow pointing to the left half of the door and the words “Please use the side entrance.” “Side entrance? I’m the one who’s off the beaten path,” Liu Yiyang remarked with a laugh. I couldn’t help but wonder: how could he still find it funny? I was the one who initiated the divorce, yet now that we’d actually reached this critical juncture, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of loss. But as for him, he was still able to joke and laugh as if nothing were wrong. A year isn’t exactly short—we’ve gone through a full cycle of the seasons—but it isn’t exactly long either. How could he have become so heartless? Setting aside his old wife here, didn’t he feel any attachment to Jinjin either? But when I looked back on it, hadn’t I, Tong Jiaqian, changed as well? That fearless version of me, once lost in love, had now become timid and hesitant, running away from the situation. “What’s wrong? Why are you shaking? Are you cold?” Liu Yiyang put his arm around my shoulders. “I’m fine.” I shook off his arm. “Stop fiddling with me. Have you ever seen a divorce like this?” “Do you have all your documents?” The clerk was a middle-aged woman—not exactly kind, but decidedly cold. You could tell she’d seen her fair share of life’s disappointments, and her outlook on life had grown cynical as a result. “Yes, ID card, household registration book, marriage certificate.” My hands trembled as I pulled them out of my bag one by one. The slow, deliberate motion reminded me of Chen Jiaojiao’s reluctant air whenever I asked her to pay for a meal. “Where’s the agreement?” The middle-aged woman didn’t even bother to look up. “Huh? The agreement?” My hand instinctively reached into my bag again, but where on earth was that damn agreement? At that moment, Liu Yiyang—who had been standing off to the side as if none of this concerned him—chipped in: “Didn’t I tell you? You need a divorce agreement to get divorced.” “Right. You have to spell out exactly how the assets will be divided, who gets custody of the child, and so on. Once both of you have reached an agreement, you sign it.” The middle-aged woman was concise and to the point. “We don’t have any assets to divide. The child is mine—he agrees.” I blurted out the whole truth without hesitation. “Verbal agreements aren’t binding.” The middle-aged woman raised an eyebrow, as if giving me a withering look. Liu Yiyang, however, remained polite: “Alright, then we’ll come back once we’ve written it up.” Liu Yiyang gathered our documents, then took my hand and took his leave at a leisurely pace, repeating “Thank you, thank you” twice as he left. I watched as the middle-aged woman’s jaw dropped so low it nearly touched her chest. She probably thought Liu Yiyang and I were idle people with too much time on our hands, shamelessly coming here to add to her workload. “You know you need a divorce agreement, so why don’t you write it?” I jabbed my elbow into Liu Yiyang’s ribs. Liu Yiyang grunted, “Hmm, you’re the one who wants the divorce. You write it yourself.” “Just you wait, I’ll write it right now.” With that, I reached for a pen and paper. “I can’t wait. I’m already late. The company is launching a new show, and we have a meeting this morning.” “Which is more important—the meeting or the divorce?” “Tong Jiaqian, give me a break. Don’t ruin my marriage and now my career too. Are you leaving or not? If you don’t, I’m not going to bother giving you a ride.” “Liu Yiyang, I think you’re doing this on purpose.” With that, I kicked the motorcycle—which was already sputtering—and then carefully straddled it. At the bus stop three stops away from home, I told Liu Yiyang to drop me off: “Hurry to work. I’ll just take a stroll.” “It’s fine, I have time. It’s so windy out—why would you want to go for a walk?” “I’ll do whatever I want. Mind your own business. Go on, go on.” “Then give me a call when you get home.” Liu Yiyang sped off, vanishing in the blink of an eye into the sea of people and cars. He’d been working for “Greenfield Media” for exactly two years now, and rumors of a substantial pay raise had just started circulating. As a post-production technician responsible for polishing and enhancing the company’s films, TV shows, and entertainment programs, he wasn’t after fame or status—just a decent paycheck. So for now, it was best for him not to be late or leave early, lest he lose the bigger picture over minor issues. I stared in the direction he’d gone, reluctant to move for a long time. I didn’t know how many more times I’d be able to watch him like this, nor did I know who might take my place in watching him this way in the future. I didn’t take a ride home; instead, I practically ran back. Although the eighteen pounds of fat Liu Yiyang and Jinjin had bestowed upon me provided some protection against the biting wind, spring was just around the corner, and it was time to shed those extra pounds. As I waddled under the overpass where I could already see the windows of my home, I spotted my father-in-law. He was leaning against the railing with his back to me, but I recognized his woolen cap at first glance. It was a deep red—vibrant and festive. I remember when my father-in-law first bought it, my mother-in-law said, “It’s so bright—you really are young at heart.” And she was absolutely right. Right now, standing across from my father-in-law was that woman—older than me, yet far more youthful-looking than my mother-in-law. She was still wearing that dark green overcoat; though her figure wasn’t exactly slender, her waist was still quite delicate. I couldn’t make out her features clearly, but judging by her big, wavy curls, her hands in her pockets, and the way she stood with one hand on her hip, she certainly had a striking presence. Judging by my father-in-law’s silhouette, he and this woman—somewhere between thirty and forty—looked quite harmonious together. My father-in-law has broad shoulders and a straight back; he always walks with his head held high and a confident stride. Only his graying hair betrays his true age—nearing sixty—but right now, with that youthful-looking hat on his head, he truly looks as if he’s turned back the clock. This is the third time I’ve seen my father-in-law chatting happily with this woman near our front door. It truly fits the saying: “Once, twice, and again.” I looked up at the window of my in-laws’ room—it was a dark, blurry patch, and I couldn’t tell if anyone was inside. If my mother-in-law happened to be gazing out the window right now, she would surely spot her husband. But that seems to prove that my father-in-law and this woman must have nothing to hide; otherwise, wouldn’t he at least try to avoid his own family’s prying eyes? I was so worked up I was panting for breath. I unlocked the door, and to my surprise, someone was there to greet me. It wasn’t Grandma or my mother-in-law, of course—it was my own mother, Jinjin’s maternal grandmother. “Why are you here?” I asked as I changed my shoes. “My eyelids have been twitching—one after the other—which is a sure sign of trouble. I was worried, so I came to check on you,”My mom said it with such conviction. She really is my mom. I’d barely teetered on the edge of divorce, and it had already shown up in her eyelids. If I actually went through with the divorce, wouldn’t she end up twisting her ankle or cutting her hand while chopping vegetables? It was time for Jinjin’s meal again. My mother-in-law gave the room to me and my mom: “Please sit down, sister-in-law. I’m going to wash my face and use the restroom. I’ve been so busy with the little one, I haven’t even had time to use the restroom.” After closing the door, my mom sat across from me, ruffling Jinjin’s hair: “Your mother-in-law is really capable. If I had to take care of a child now, I probably wouldn’t be able to handle it.” ““I think she might be a little too capable.” “You’re such a kid. If you didn’t have anyone to help you, you wouldn’t even be able to eat. You’d be so busy you’d end up wetting your pants right along with the baby.” I said nothing more, cherishing the limited time I had to hold my daughter. But my mom kept talking nonstop. Still, she kept her voice just low enough so it wouldn’t carry outside the door: ““If you ask me, the biggest perk of your marriage is landing such a capable mother-in-law. You’re so young and already have a child—if your mother-in-law didn’t help with childcare, you wouldn’t have a moment to yourself for years to come.” “I’m a mother now—what do I need a life of my own for? Of course I’m going to devote myself entirely to Jinjin. Besides, if it comes down to it, I’ll just hire a nanny. She’ll help when I need her, and stay out of it when I don’t.” “Hmph, that’s easy for you to say. With the ten or twenty thousand you and Liu Yiyang make combined, how are you going to hire a nanny?” “Mom, his salary is about to go up.” “How much higher can it go? Enough to buy a house? Do you want to live here? If not, tell him to go buy a house. You, on the other hand, made a mistake—getting pregnant before marriage. I really can’t be bothered to lecture you.” “Can’t be bothered, yet you bring it up at least three times a month. What ‘mistake’? Am I supposed to regret it for the rest of my life? Go ask around—how many people our age can actually afford a house in Beijing? Don’t you keep looking down on Liu Yiyang. I’ll bet my life on it: people come in all sorts of grades, and he’s at least upper-middle class.” As long as Liu Yiyang is my man, I’ll stick up for him every single day. “And what about you? Mom thinks you’re top-tier. Even if you can’t live in luxury, you should at least have enough to eat, warm clothes, and a comfortable place to live, right? Look at that place you’re living in now—not only is it tiny, but it’s so gloomy you could practically grow mushrooms in there.” “I’m just grateful to have a roof over my head. Go take a look—how many ‘Beijing drifters’ are renting places for a thousand or so a month, with cockroaches running rampant and shared bathrooms? What’s a little cold to me? A bit of chill keeps me from getting all worked up.” “All right, all right. It’s your life to live. As long as you’re happy, what else is there for Mom to say? I guess I underestimated you back then.” “Back then? What do you mean, ‘back then’?” “Before you got married, didn’t I warn you straight up? I told you you’d never be able to handle a life with no house, no car, and four generations living under one roof.” I finally stopped putting up a front. They say no one knows a daughter better than her mother. Setting aside the constant comparisons among old classmates and new colleagues about houses, cars, and money—and setting aside the fact that I’m already a mother, with a few extra pounds and the wear and tear of life etched in my eyes—Liu Yiyang’s growing lack of consideration, coupled with the cramped quarters and stifling atmosphere at the Liu household, were more than enough to drive me to the breaking point. Divorce. The words fluttered on my lips, but in the end, I couldn’t bring myself to utter them to my mother. If she heard that, she’d surely be both worried and smug about her premonition. At six o’clock that evening, Liu Yiyang called to say he had to work late. “Work late? Doesn’t your company tell you to take work home? What kind of overtime is that?” “We have a team meeting. Don’t wait for me for dinner. “Oh, if it gets too late, just go to sleep. Don’t wait up for me.” “Mr. Liu, are you so desperate you can’t stand it anymore? Planning to make a mistake out there?” “Jiaqian, didn’t you say it yourself? Starting today, whatever I do doesn’t count as a mistake.” “But didn’t we have that… attempted thing today? So I’m telling you, Mr. Liu, don’t you dare mess around.” "Since the phone is in a public place, I really can’t bring myself to say the word ‘divorce’ outright. “I’m really working overtime. Gotta go. Bye.” Liu Yiyang hung up without a second thought, leaving me with a string of beeps. I put down the phone and turned around, only to lock eyes with my father-in-law. He was holding a teacup and had been standing behind me for who knows how long. “What do you mean, ‘Mr. Liu’? My surname is Liu too—are you addressing me as well?” With that, he strode into the kitchen, poured the tea leaves into the sink, and the sound of the water didn’t drown out his final three words: “You have no manners.” My father-in-law’s dislike for me actually predated the birth of our daughter, Jinjin. Long before I even stepped foot into the Liu household, when the “good news” that I was carrying a child of the Liu family reached his ears, he was already furious at my “immoral” behavior. As a man and a father, he never seemed to think his son, Liu Yiyang, had any blame in this matter; it was as if it all came down to me being a loose woman who didn’t know how to keep herself pure. He never stopped to consider that by then, I had been with his son for six years and knew the Liu family inside and out. What on earth could they have done to make me “scheme” to entangle them with a child—both big and small? To put it bluntly, it was simply because I was deeply in love with his son. Even before that, his son had been in a relationship with me during high school, but then he failed the college entrance exam and didn’t get into a so-called prestigious university. In reality, there was no causal link between these two events, but as a father who wanted his son to succeed, he dumped all the blame on me, an innocent young woman. Then, when I gave birth to our daughter, Jinjin, he lumped all the old and new grievances together, and my father-in-law rarely gave me a friendly look from then on. It was nine o’clock at night, and Liu Yiyang hadn’t come home. It was ten o’clock at night, and Liu Yiyang still hadn’t come home. At 10:30 p. m. , I called his cell phone, but it was turned off. I called his office, but no one answered. By 10:40 p. m. , the home phone rang. I pounced on it like a tiger snatching its prey, terrified that the caller might be one of my “cat-and-dog” friends like Chen Jiaojiao, disturbing my in-laws’ peaceful sleep and unsettling Jinjin. But it turned out to be a friend of Liu Yiyang’s. “Is Liu Yiyang home?” It was a woman, her voice as clear as a silver bell. “He’s working late; he hasn’t come back yet,” I told her the truth. “Working late? Oh, right, right, he has to work late.” “May I ask who you are?” “Sun Xiaorou.” Sun Xiaorou,I’d heard that name before. She was a signed artist at Liu Yiyang’s company. In the posters, she looked like a model, but in person, she was petite and delicate, like a child’s clothing model. Liu Yiyang had once praised her name, saying it was alluring and seductive—the kind that naturally attracts men—so in my mind, I’d taken to calling her “Sun Xiaoyao.” “Is there something you need from him?” As Liu Yiyang’s current legal wife, I should have the right to ask about this late-night call from a woman. “Oh, nothing much. Why is his phone turned off? Oh, he’s not home? Then there’s no point asking you. You’re his wife, right? Sorry to bother you. Bye.” Sun Xiaoyao rattled off this whole string of words on her own before hanging up. As Liu Yiyang’s wife, I stood there holding the phone, frozen in place for a long time. It seemed Liu Yiyang was really about to make a mistake. Just look—there was already a little temptress calling him in the middle of the night, claiming she had “nothing to do.” I went back to my room, leaned on the windowsill, and looked out. The road directly opposite the window was the one Liu Yiyang always took to come home. The streetlights on either side cast a dim, yellow glow, and one of them flickered on and off. Back in the waning days of high school, it was also under a flickering streetlight that Liu Yiyang took my first kiss—though, in his words, I had “offered” it to him. Back then, our faces shimmered in the light, and our hearts pounded so hard they seemed ready to burst from our chests and soar into the sky. Back in high school, Liu Yiyang was the top student in our class, and I was just one of the many girls who would bring math, physics, and chemistry problems to him for help. But as I kept asking for help and he kept teaching, I eventually wouldn’t let him teach any other girls. Then came the college entrance exams. I studied tirelessly day and night, my eyes ringed with dark circles, and I got into the university we’d agreed on. Unfortunately, Liu Yiyang—who’d been so smart for three years—had a moment of foolishness and didn’t make the cut. Just before stepping through the university gates, I nestled into his arms and asked, “Tell me, without my watchful eye, would your roving nature ever overcome your rational, unwavering loyalty?” And Liu Yiyang replied, “My nature is unwavering loyalty.” But in the end, the entertainment industry—that great melting pot—ultimately tainted him. As a technical staff member on the fringes of the entertainment industry, he ultimately couldn’t escape this fate. No, I should say, his woman ultimately couldn’t escape this fate either. Even though I’m about to divorce him, today I’m still his woman. Liu Yiyang was back, riding his rumbling motorcycle straight ahead. Suddenly, he tilted his head back and looked up at the window where I was standing. My heart skipped a beat. My elbow, propped on the windowsill, slipped, and as my entire upper body slid down with it, I saw Liu Yiyang waving at me—waving widely, as if he were absolutely delighted. Damn it, why am I lying here waiting for him? Why, when I haven’t yet caught him in the act, have I instead let him catch me waiting here for him? He must be laughing his head off right now: Ha ha, this is what they call “keeping the red flag flying at home while letting the colorful flags fly outside.” Liu Yiyang tiptoed to open the front door, and then I heard my in-laws open their bedroom door, followed by their back-and-forth questions: “Coming home so late? Are you tired? It’s cold out there, isn’t it? Have you eaten? Why don’t you have a bowl of noodles?” Liu Yiyang’s voice grew closer to our room: “No, thanks. I’m not hungry. I want to go to sleep. You two should get some rest too.” Finally, he opened the door, and I—already tucked under the covers—held my breath with my back to him. Liu Yiyang patted my butt through the blanket: “You’re still awake?” I mumbled dramatically: “Hmm, you’re back?” Liu Yiyang called me out: “What are you playing at? Weren’t you just peeking out the window a moment ago?” Since I’d already started pretending, I had no choice but to stick with it: “What are you talking about? Must be seeing things. Oh, right—that temptress from your place called looking for you. Why was your phone turned off?” I changed the subject. “Sun Xiaorou? Oh, okay.” Liu Yiyang slyly dodged my question and craned his neck to head to the bathroom to wash up. I pounded my fists on the bed and sat up straight: How dare he? Even if I didn’t deserve credit for passing on the message, I at least put in the effort, right? And even if I didn’t put in the effort, I still deserve some respect, don’t I? What was that “Oh, okay” supposed to mean? I don’t think he’s interested in making a proper life for us anymore. To be honest, I hadn’t meant to eavesdrop on Liu Yiyang and Sun Xiaorou’s call. Really, honestly, in the seven years we’ve been together, I’ve never caught Liu Yiyang doing anything even remotely suspicious, so I truly have absolutely no skills or experience as a police officer or detective. I’d only stepped out of the room to breastfeed Jinjin when I heard my husband’s voice coming from the bathroom: “Xiaorou, don’t take this to heart—it’s not worth it. Be a good girl and go back to sleep.” Instantly, the blood rushed to my head, and I watched as my hands clenched into fists, trembling uncontrollably. “Be a good girl”? Pfft. Sun Xiaoyao may not be a big star today, but she’s been in this entertainment industry for over half a year now. She’s had her fair share of scandals with third-rate and even non-mainstream male celebrities—playing along until it looked real. Yet you, you idiot Liu Yiyang, actually treat her like a little lamb and say something so outrageous as “be a good girl.” As your wife, I’m genuinely embarrassed for you. Or maybe you’ve already decided you’re a free agent with no wife? Jinjin’s cries were growing shorter and more urgent, each one a plea. I had no choice but to rush into my in-laws’ room, leaving Liu Yiyang to act like a complete fool in the bathroom. “What are you doing? You’re taking forever.” My mother-in-law reluctantly handed Jinjin over to me. I dare say she’d love to be able to produce milk herself, so she wouldn’t have to rely on me, her wet nurse, every three hours. “Hey, what did I say to you? Why are your eyes red?” Suddenly, my mother-in-law’s tone turned motherly. After all, living under the same roof, she couldn’t very well bully her son’s wife right in front of everyone. And this was the survival rule we’d both adhered to in the year since I’d joined the family: moving with ease, alternating between softness and firmness, to maintain a semblance of peace. Never push someone too far—as the saying goes, even a cornered rabbit will bite. And if a person is pushed to the limit, they’re capable of anything. “Mom, it’s nothing to do with you. I’m just so tired.” My words were two-fold: the first part was true, the second part was a lie. Jinjin, oh Jinjin, have pity on us—your mother and you. You’re still a helpless infant, and I’m bloated and unattractive, yet your father—my husband—has already had his soul sucked away by that little demon. Every day, whenever you’re hungry, thirsty, need to pee, or need to poop, you just open your mouth and wail—all the noise and no action, letting it all out however you please. But as for your poor mother here, all I can do is grit my teeth and play it by ear. “By the way, that temptress called earlier. I asked her what she wanted with you, and she said nothing.” I feigned calmness, lying back on the bed and gazing at the ceiling as I spoke slowly. Liu Yiyang, freshly bathed and clean, lay back on the bed as well, staring at the ceiling: “Hmm, she was just saying that offhand.” “Oh? So is there something or not?” “What’s up? Why are you being so sarcastic?” “Nothing much. I’m just curious. She’s a public figure—what would she be looking for you, a behind-the-scenes guy, for at nearly 11 p. m.? It can’t be work, can it?” “Hmm, half work, half personal.” Liu Yiyang rolled over, turning his back to me. “Liu Yiyang, do you have any conscience left?” I yanked the covers off him. “I’ve been with you all these years. Ever since we were in school, I’ve been bringing you treats from home, going to your dorm to wash your clothes and socks. I’ve never had a boyfriend other than you. I’ve never even known what another man’s lips taste like. And now, I’ve given birth to your child. I’m nursing him myself, saving you the cost of formula. But what about you? What have you actually done for me or for the child?” Liu Yiyang was taken aback by my sudden outburst. He didn’t seem to notice the cold or even bother to pull the blanket over himself; he just curled up there, nearly naked. “Tong Jiaqian, what on earth are you so angry about?” ” “What kind? The kind of family you come from. Ask your conscience: has Tong Jiaqian ever done you even the slightest bit of wrong? When we got married, there was no wedding to speak of—just five tables for both families to eat together, and that was it. The ring had no diamond, just a plain band, but didn’t I wear it with pride? And look at this house—three rooms in total, housing four generations and six people. Even my mom can’t stand it anymore. Tell me, with a wife as patient and long-suffering as me, how much good karma did you accumulate in a past life to deserve this? How come you don’t know how to cherish it?” Tears were already welling up in my eyes. “What do you mean by saying all this now? Are you complaining? Accusing me of mistreating you and the kids?” Liu Yiyang sat up straight, looking down at me. “I’m saying this to make it clear: if we go our separate ways in the future, it’s entirely your doing. I, Tong Jiaqian, take no responsibility for it.” “So, in the end, aren’t you just talking about divorce? Go ahead, I agree.” “You’re not just agreeing? You’re practically begging for it, aren’t you? What do I even mean to you? It’s been seven years—even if I were as beautiful as a flower, that time has long passed. And what about Jinjin? You haven’t seen her in a single day—do you even miss her? All that talk about the fruits of love and the crystallization of marriage—it’s all bullshit. No wonder you can’t understand why I want to be with her every single moment. If you ask me, you don’t love her at all.” “Don’t start rambling. She’s my daughter—how could I not love her? Oh, just because I’ve never been pregnant, never been in a delivery room, never screamed in labor—does that mean I don’t have a natural bond with her?” “Don’t give me that ‘natural bond’ nonsense. Men’s nature is to tire of the old and crave the new, to chase after beauty.” Liu Yiyang’s gaze swept over my face like a searchlight. As he studied me, he suddenly burst out laughing: “So, it turns out Liu Xiaorou was the one who started the fire?” “Get lost, get lost! Is she a boiler operator? She didn’t start any damn fire.” Having been seen through by Liu Yiyang, I felt as embarrassed as if I were standing there naked. “Go to sleep. You’ve still got to get divorced tomorrow, don’t you?” Liu Yiyang said with a smirk as he pulled the covers over me and closed his eyes. I lay there alone, seething with resentment, unable to fall asleep for a long time. And just when I finally started to doze off, Jinjin called me over again. Liu Yiyang’s snoring was steady and deep, while my father-in-law, with his back to me, sighed discontentedly in his half-asleep state. With my breasts exposed, I stood stiff as a board, clutching Jinjin uneasily. Liu Yiyang, oh Liu Yiyang, open your eyes wide and look around—in this vast country of China, how many women could possibly measure up to me, Tong Jiaqian? In the morning, before I’d even gotten up, Liu Yiyang was already up. “Oh, the sun’s rising in the west. Are you working overtime this morning too?” The embers of my resentment still smoldered; one careless spark could set the whole place ablaze. “You don’t have to make breakfast today. I’ll go buy some.” Liu Yiyang pinched my cheek and flashed a smile he thought was radiant, but to me, it seemed insincere. As usual, there was a dried-up drool stain at the corner of his mouth. After all these years, I’d long since given up hope that he’d ever keep his mouth shut while sleeping. Back when I was in school—long before I ever did any housework—I’d wash his clothes like a busy little bee, and I’d always find hard, dried-up patches on his pillowcase. “Huh?” I propped myself up on one elbow. “What did you say?” “I said I’m going to get breakfast. What do you want? Fried bread and fried dough sticks, soy milk and wontons, or a pancake roll?” Liu Yiyang pushed me back onto the bed. “Go back to sleep for a bit. You didn’t get much rest after feeding the baby last night.” Watching Liu Yiyang get out of bed and put on layer after layer of clothes, I still couldn’t believe it. “Hey, are you okay? Didn’t you always say ‘the day’s work begins at dawn,’ and that this ‘dawn’ is meant to ensure quality sleep? What’s gotten into you today?” “I think you’re right. I haven’t done enough for you, for Jinjin, or for this family. Even though I work hard every day, I still haven’t been able to provide you with a comfortable life. Now that we’re about to part ways, I feel I should seize every minute and second to make it up to you both.” The corner of my mouth twitched involuntarily, as if someone had pricked me with a sewing needle. This Liu Yiyang—his little scheme is really clicking along nicely. Part ways with me? To start over and find a second spring with some young vixen? Make it up to us? I think he just wants to get rid of us as soon as possible. There’s truly no fairness in this world. Seven years have passed for both of us, and we’ve both gone through a failed marriage. Yet Liu Yiyang has grown more and more masculine and mature, while I’m nothing but the smell of cooking oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar, and tea—oh, and now a hint of milk. Once we go our separate ways, I’ll be left with Jinjin, unwanted by anyone, while his market value will skyrocket along with his salary. “Sleep a little longer. I’ll wake you when I get back. Once we’ve eaten, we can get down to business. Jiaqian, I can’t keep treating you this way anymore.” Liu Yiyang, dressed to the nines, turned and walked out of the room. I stood there frozen, my entire body—inside and out—frozen solid, with only my brain still functioning: “Injustice?” Does he really think that buying me two fried dough sticks today will make me feel any less wronged? Does he really think that by taking charge of one breakfast, he can buy himself a clear conscience and put a perfect period at the end of our marriage? Jiaqian—just listen to how he calls me. So tender, yet so insincere. I leapt out of bed, intending to grab him by the ear and drag him back, to tell him, “No need. I’ll handle breakfast today. After all, aside from the month before I went into labor and the month of postpartum confinement, I’ve long since mastered cooking congee, frying eggs, and preparing a variety of breakfasts—from bread and ham to bean buns and fermented tofu.” And as for you, Liu Yiyang, you can just go back to feeling guilty. But just as I reached the bedroom door, before I could even open it, I heard a full-blown conversation already underway outside: “Yangyang, why are you up so early? Where’s Jiaqian? Still asleep? Should we go buy breakfast? You go? Forget it—the food out there isn’t clean. Let Jiaqian make it; at least it’ll be clean and safe to eat.” Liu Yiyang chuckled, “I’m awake. I wanted to get up and stretch my legs, breathe some fresh air. Jiaqian didn’t sleep well last night because she was breastfeeding, so I told her to sleep a little longer. Go ahead, what would you all like to eat? There’s nothing you can think of that I can’t get.” “How can breastfeeding keep her from sleeping? I used to take care of Jinjin all night long, and I never had trouble waking up.” As usual, the mother-in-law launched into a tirade about her own heroic feats. “Mom, Jiaqian is an only child too. I wouldn’t say she was spoiled, but she was certainly raised like a precious treasure—just like me. Since she married into our family, even when she was pregnant, she handled everything she could on her own. Please be a little more understanding of her.” Liu Yiyang’s words were clear and firm, yet spoken in a gentle tone—she took my side without embarrassing my mother-in-law. After that, I didn’t hear another word from her. I figured she’d probably gone back to her room with my Jinjin to reflect on things. Hmph, Liu Yiyang, where have you been all this time? It’s been a year since I married into your Liu family, and only now have you realized that I, Tong Jiaqian, am also an only child of the new society? My heart was torn in two—one half was grumbling like this, while the other half was pulling at my lips, making me smile from ear to ear. “Jinjin, come here, let Daddy give you a kiss, mmm. Daddy got off work late yesterday, and Jinjin was already asleep, so Daddy didn’t come to see you. Don’t be mad at Daddy, okay? Daddy’s going to buy some breakfast first, then I’ll come back to play with Jinjin in a bit, all right?” Liu Yiyang’s voice drifted through the door again. I paced back to the bed and plopped down. What on earth is this man up to? Or did he take the wrong medicine last night? We’re on the verge of divorce—he’s agreed to it, and sometimes even acts as if he can’t wait to be divorced—so how did he suddenly transform into a model husband and father? Is he trying to win me back, or is he just trying to soothe his own conscience? I waited until Liu Yiyang returned before stepping out of the room, because I simply couldn’t bear to go out early with nothing to do—it would make me look like a slacker. But the moment I showed my face, Grandma caught me: “Jiaqian, did you buy the dried shrimp?” I took a deep breath: “Oh, what a forgetful person I am. Just a minute, I’ll go buy them right away.” “Shall we go?” Liu Yiyang asked, wiping his mouth after finishing a tray of xiaolongbao. “Where to?” The question came from my mother-in-law: “Where have the two of you been going so early in the morning these past few days? Jiaqian, you’ve been out catching a chill and then coming home to breastfeed—Little Bao has even gotten diarrhea. “Don’t go.” Jinjin was fast asleep in her crib, and my mother-in-law was taking the rare opportunity to give herself a massage on her upper and lower arms, as well as her shoulders. Jinjin already weighed nearly sixteen pounds; carrying her around all day, my mother-in-law must be building some serious muscle. “Okay, we won’t go today.” I said this both to my mother-in-law and to Liu Yiyang. The more eager he is to get a divorce, the less likely I am to let him succeed. Besides, my mom and Chen Jiaojiao are all secretly waiting to see me and Liu Yiyang make fools of ourselves, and I’m not about to give them that satisfaction. And who knows—maybe that little vixen Sun Xiaorou is having a field day scheming to break up couples and destroy families. I certainly won’t be playing into her hands. I held up a flatbread and peered at Liu Yiyang’s reaction from the top edge. His face showed neither disappointment nor excitement, so I couldn’t tell at all whether he actually wanted to divorce me. “Hmm, let’s do it another time, then. I’m off to work.” He fiddled with his car keys and strode out the door, full of energy. As for me, the only thing I did that day was buy a bag of dried shrimp.