The Great Tang's King of Provisions

Chapter 45: Big Underpants and a Tiny Toothbrush

Early the next morning, Li Xuanba caused another commotion. The reason was simple: he couldn’t get used to the Tang Dynasty’s loincloths, so he had Chunlan and Qiuju cut and sew some white cloth into a pair of baggy underwear. Looking at the square piece of white cloth in Li Xuanba’s hands, Li Yuan examined it from all angles and asked hesitantly, “Xiaoyao, what kind of pants are these? Will they really be comfortable to wear?” “Of course! These are way more comfortable than those lousy loincloths,”Seeing the disbelief still on Li Yuan’s face, Li Xuanba paid no heed to Chunlan and Qiuju, who were blushing furiously beside him. He reached out, grabbed them, and dragged them into the inner room. He then had them strip off their clothes—including their loincloths—and in two swift motions, slipped on the large pair of underwear. “Look, look—wearing them like this is simple and convenient, isn’t it? It’s summer now, and this is really comfortable.” Li Xuanba tied the strings on his shorts, walked out of the room bare-chested, and hopped back and forth a few times in front of Li Yuan. He raised an eyebrow at the dumbfounded Li Yuan to show just how comfortable he was. “Huh? They really are pretty convenient—they don’t even fall down. Let me try them on.” Seeing how comfortable Li Xuanba looked in those white shorts, Li Yuan’s eyes lit up. He reached out with his old hand, ready to strip Li Xuanba naked right then and there. Li Xuanba raised his hand to block Li Yuan’s reaching hand and said, half-laughing, half-crying, “Stop! Dad, if you want to wear one yourself, just have the maids make you another pair! Why are you taking mine?” Oh my god! Dad is so ruthless—this is the only pair of boxers I have! If I take them off, I’ll be completely naked. Facing Li Yuan, Li Xuanba didn’t want to reveal too much, but he’d forgotten that he’d just had the two maids, Chunlan and Qiuju, help him undress. After changing into a fresh set of clothes, Li Xuanba had someone fetch a small bamboo stick and an iron needle, then gathered some pig bristles and a type of adhesive unique to ancient times. “Clang, clang, clang!” With Li Xuanba’s strength, he wielded that tiny iron needle with one hand, and within a few dozen seconds, he had pierced a series of holes into the bamboo stick. He inserted the pig bristles, one by one, into the small holes, brushed a layer of adhesive on the back, then covered it with another small bamboo stick. After lightly singeing the uneven bristles at the front with fire, a toothbrush with a distinct Tang Dynasty flair was born. Noticing the somewhat familiar object in Li Xuanba’s hand, Li Yuan picked it up and examined it briefly. “Xiaoyao, is this the toothbrush you were talking about?” “That’s right!” Li Xuanba replied, his hands busily crafting another toothbrush. Good things shouldn’t be kept to oneself—it’s better to share them. After all, even his old man was using one now… awkward. “Huh? It’s definitely much better than that willow twig, and more convenient than using your fingers—at least it doesn’t hurt the gums! Plus, my teeth seem to have gotten a lot whiter.” After just one brushing, Li Yuan was over the moon. This toothbrush was truly convenient—not only did it whiten his teeth, but his gums didn’t bleed anymore either. Li Xuanba: “……” Are my teeth really whiter? It’s just that your teeth have never been white to begin with, you old man! While grumbling to himself, Li Xuanba kept his hands moving, making fifty toothbrushes in a row before finally stopping. Picking up a new toothbrush, he dipped it into the “Xiaoyao Toothpaste Powder”—a mixture of pine resin, poria powder, and mint powder—and began his very first toothbrushing experience in the Tang Dynasty. After brushing, Li Xuanba looked at his reflection in the polished copper mirror, tapped his pearly white teeth with his finger, and raised his eyebrows smugly—he really was clever enough to make such “exquisite” toothbrushes. After brushing his teeth, Li Xuanba picked up the toothbrush and strolled out, saying as he walked, “Dad, save these for my second older brother and his family. Aside from my second older brother, his wife, and my wife and her family, charge the old demon Cheng and the others ten guan each!” “Charging them is only fair, but what are you going out to do?” Whether it was ten guan or not, Li Yuan didn’t care; he assumed Cheng Yaojin and the others would pay for the toothbrushes, but he was very curious about what Li Xuanba was going out to do. “To make money!” Without even turning his head, Li Xuanba answered with two decisive words, leaving Li Yuan dumbfounded. “Make money?” “Right, to make money! To make a fortune! Enough to let our Great Tang Empire send out an army!” “Haha! Great!” Hearing the confident tone in Li Xuanba’s voice, Li Yuan paused for a moment, then cheerfully stroked the three-chi-long beard on his chin, raised his eyebrows smugly, burst into laughter, picked up the toothbrush, and headed to the Taiji Hall to collect payment for it. While his son was making a fortune, he, as his father, would just earn a little money for him. Li Xuanba rode “Chasing the Wind Ten Thousand Li Cloud,” followed by a group of guards led by Cheng Huai Mo, as they strolled leisurely toward the gates of the imperial city. As they neared the Zhuque Gate, Li Xuanba turned his head to glance at Cheng Huai Mo beside him. “Huai Mo, where is your family’s restaurant?” “An inn? The closest one is the Cheng Family Inn on the east side of Suzaku Street. But Your Highness, officials of the fifth rank or higher are not permitted to enter the market. Given your status…” Upon hearing that Li Xuanba intended to visit his family’s inn, Cheng Huai Mo paused for a moment, then raised his hand to point toward the East Market on the left, though he didn’t dare lead Li Xuanba there. The East Market and the West Market were the two major markets within Chang’an, the capital of the Tang Dynasty, though the two were strictly separated. Because the East Market was close to the Imperial Palace and surrounded by neighborhoods where the imperial family, nobles, and high-ranking officials resided, the goods sold there were mostly high-end luxury items designed to meet the needs of the imperial family, nobles, and high-ranking officials. However, the market itself was rather quiet. The West Market, on the other hand, was farther from the Imperial Palace and the mansions of high-ranking officials and nobles. Surrounded by the homes of commoners, it dealt primarily in everyday necessities such as clothing, candles, pastries, and medicine, and was thus much livelier; it was known as the “Golden Market.” The reason for this distinction lay in an edict issued by the imperial court: officials of the fifth rank or higher were forbidden from entering the market to shop—a policy rooted in the short-sighted view that merchants were “lowly folk.” If Cheng Huai Mo were to actually lead His Highness the Prince of Tang into the West Market in secret, not only would His Highness be subject to accusations by the officials, but he himself would likely face severe punishment! “Ha ha!” Upon hearing Cheng Huai-mo’s words, Li Xuan-ba burst into laughter, narrowed his tiger-like eyes, and declared haughtily, “My name is Li Xuan-ba. I’d like to see which minister dares to report me! Don’t they fear suffering the same fate as Hou Jun-ji?” Status? What status did he have? The Prince of Tang? They dare to bring charges against the Prince of Tang—I wonder if Li Xuanba and his men dare to do the same. “Heh heh!” As soon as Li Xuanba finished speaking, Cheng Huai’mo let out a couple of forced laughs. Thinking of Hou Junji’s tragic end, he silently mourned for the ministers who would be bringing charges against the Prince of Tang the next day. Thankfully, his father was a military commander who didn’t meddle in such matters—and since he knew the Prince of Tang personally, Li Xuanba had avoided a severe beating. “Huai Mo will show Your Highness the way,” Cheng Huai Mo said, wiping the sweat from his brow as he led Li Xuanba to one of his family’s taverns in Chang’an. Li Xuanba looked up at the unbelievably wide Zhurong Avenue and the shops lining both sides of it, then instructed Cheng Huai Mo, “Send someone to notify the heads of the merchants’ guilds in each region, as well as the high-ranking noble families. Tell them that I, Li Xuanba, have a major business deal to discuss with them. If your Cheng family wishes to get a share of the profits, they may send representatives as well.” “Yes, Your Highness!” Cheng Huai Mo replied, saying nothing further about matters unrelated to merchants. He called over the men standing nearby and gave them their orders, then cast a glance at the tiny toothbrush in Li Xuanba’s hand. Is this tiny thing really the big business deal? It didn’t really look like it!