The Most Powerful Young Master of the Northern Song Dynasty

Chapter 7: Luring the Tiger Away from the Mountain

His loyal father was too busy and oblivious—it would be strange if he ever had time to notice what was going on at home. So the next day, Wang Bang skipped school again, taking Erya along to fend for themselves. Grandma was quite a scatterbrained woman. When she saw Wang Bang skipping school, she praised him, saying, “You’ve truly inherited your father’s spirit. What’s so great about school anyway? We in the Wang family are child prodigies—we don’t need them to teach us. Even Geng Tianji is more talented than they are; it would be a problem if they taught him wrong. Your father loved working just as much as you do.” “Mm-hmm, carrying on the fine traditions of the Great Demon King’s family.” After saying this, Wang Bang realized it wasn’t quite right and added, “Rong Bin, please forgive me—I actually meant the ‘Great Wang Family,’ not the ‘Great Demon King’s family.’ ” “What a good boy. How could my grandson ever be wrong?” The old grandmother affectionately patted Little Wang on the head. As for his beautiful mother, she thought her mother-in-law was a senile old fool. Her son was a genius with the talent of a chancellor—how could he possibly do such menial work, just like his father did when he was a child? Was his father just a slob? Speaking of which, Old Wang’s hands were incredibly rough; when he rubbed someone’s back, it felt like he was scraping cupping marks. Indeed, Wang Anshi’s wife was a neat freak who didn’t care for sloppiness. However, Wu Qiong felt sorry for her son, so she thought to herself: He’s just been kicked in the head by a donkey—let him do what he wants to do for now. There’s no need to rush him into cramming his head full of books. Even if our son isn’t named at the Donghua Gate, he’ll still hold an official post and live a life free from want. Given Old Wang’s rank, it’ll be easy enough to secure a hereditary official post for him—it’ll just be a minor one. Not as impressive as when Old Wang placed fourth in the palace examination back in the day. What was infuriating was that Old Wang had boasted earlier that he had no intention of asking for an official post in the future. He claimed that the Song Dynasty suffered from a severe surplus of officials, and he already had a rather underhanded plan: to persuade the emperor to abolish the hereditary appointment system for the children of high-ranking officials. His reasoning was: “How can we allow so many uneducated, good-for-nothing scions to mingle among the ranks of the government?” When Wang Anshi first voiced this idea, Wu Qiong wept her heart out. Doing so would mean offending the entire bureaucratic establishment. “So that’s it, Old Wang—you’re plotting to have others desecrate our family’s ancestral graves?” So a huge uproar ensued, and eventually Old Wang—who was completely under his wife’s thumb—naturally had to back down. The one thing he feared most in his life was offending his wife. Even when he took Erya’s mother as a concubine, Old Wang felt he was letting Wu Qiong down. I’m getting off track. Anyway, Wu Qiong’s mother supported Wang Bang’s playfulness. As for Er Ya’s mother, she felt she was finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. She never imagined the young master would change so much after being kicked by a donkey—he’s even willing to play with my Erya. That’s wonderful. Erya’s life will be a little easier from now on. So Zheng Erniang took a great liking to Wang Bang and grew even fonder of that donkey. And so, by unanimous decision, the donkey was renamed: Wangjia. The Wang family wasn’t particularly money-minded, so they didn’t name it “Wangcai” (Prosperity). Wang Bang argued his case forcefully: “It’s not allowed to drink alcohol. Also, it has a patch of gray on its forehead, so its surname is Huitou, given name Xiaobao, and courtesy name Wangcai.” Everyone corrected him in unison: “It’s Wangjia.” Wang Bang’s old face flushed slightly—of course, he’d mispronounced it on purpose. They don’t like money, but I do! Honestly, “Wangjia” is such a tongue-twister—does that mean everyone in the Wang family is “stubborn” by nature…? From that day on, the donkey Xiaobao wept until it went blind, circling the millstone day after day. Wang Bang hung a piece of fruit right in front of Xiaobao’s mouth; though the donkey tried its hardest, it just couldn’t reach it. With every circle the donkey made, a steady stream of ground grain poured out. Wang Bang took some of the grain in his hand to examine it; after Shao Qing, he tasted a bit—it tasted pretty good, already possessing the natural aroma of grain. Ancient chickens, having never seen the outside world, weren’t picky; as long as they could eat rice, they’d love this, so there was no need to dehydrate or roast it to enhance the flavor. Seeing Wang Bang staring blankly at the freshly ground grain, Erya asked worriedly, “Do you think we’ve failed this time?” Wang Bang replied, “If you want to slack off, just say so.” The little girl replied, “No way! Doing this is my duty. I just want to collect more eggs for you to eat, so you’ll get smarter and win first place in the imperial exams someday to bring honor to our family.” There was nothing wrong with that logic, so he got right back to work—putting the little girl to work. They ground the beans, wheat bran, and other mixed ingredients into flour, added some dehydrated and crushed clover, and sent Erya out with a sack to feed the chickens. Wang Bang was too lazy to pick up a pen and calculate the nutritional composition of this feed mixture just yet. You don't even have to do the math to know it won't be great, but it won't be terrible either. Of course, it's not as good as eating bugs. It's just that when there aren't that many bugs around, this formula is probably dozens of times better than rice. Plus, it's cheaper. It’ll do as long as it works. The best approach, of course, is to catch some fish from the river, grind them into powder, and mix them in. That way, the amino acid profile becomes much more complete. It’s a kind of “mystery bonus” that boosts the efficiency of the entire formula. Without certain amino acids, some physiological systems will barely function. It’s like cutting funding for anti-corruption efforts—the world would still run, of course, but rampant corruption would cause a massive loss in GDP. That’s the logic behind it. However, before the fishing industry becomes industrialized, spending money to buy fish to make fish meal isn’t cost-effective—it has little commercial value for now. And since Wang Bang doesn’t want to catch fish himself, he’ll just muddle through for a while—it’s not the end of the world. As long as the total number of eggs keeps increasing, this young master has won, hasn’t he? “I’m really so clever,” Wang Bang muttered to himself as he lay in the mill with a clover leaf clenched between his teeth. Just then, Xiaobao’s donkey-like snout reached over and snatched the clover from Wang Bang’s mouth. “Xiaobao, if you dare come and kiss me again, I’ll kill the donkey after it’s done grinding,” Wang Bang said, pounding the ground in frustration. “You idiot.” Just then, a mysterious voice suddenly drifted in from somewhere. That eerie voice again. Terrified, Wang Bang leapt to his feet, rushed out the door, grabbed the little girl by the hand, and ran off to find Old Liao. Unfortunately, Old Liao wasn’t there—he’d gone on a business trip with the Great Demon King. Now the two kids were completely flustered; all they could do was huddle inside their room with the door locked. Wang Bang hid under the covers like a total wimp, while the little girl bravely stood guard at the door with a broom. The little girl, who didn’t quite understand what was going on but was taking her role very seriously, crouched low like a Japanese soldier invading a village, broom raised, staring intently at the doorway. She wondered: Could it be that the dung beetle’s relatives have come to attack? Come on then, if you’ve got the guts. If I can’t beat you, I’ll admit defeat. “You idiot!” The voice came again. Did it really have to be so hurtful? Still, he couldn’t pinpoint where the voice was coming from. Fortunately, the mysterious figure seemed to have moved on. Wang Bang thought this was a rather eerie and mysterious figure. Of course, since this person was cursing from the shadows, it meant they had no intention of killing her. After all, a dog that bites doesn’t bark. To keep cursing at him time and again not only proves the other guy’s lack of intelligence but also shows that he’s bold enough to back up his skills, revealing a certain aloof and arrogant mindset. This is a guy with a screw loose who looks down on everyone. He’s probably some dimwit from Bianjing. That’s just how people from Bianjing are—they treat anyone outside Bianjing as a hick. That’s why, whenever my scruffy old dad, who never grooms himself, visits the capital, he becomes the butt of everyone’s jokes. “Oh no—it’s a ‘lure the tiger away from the mountain’ trick.” The little girl suddenly dropped her broom and burst into tears: “The Dung Beetle Army tricked us into coming here—they must have gone to eat the feed we worked so hard to get.” “Come on, our feed is guarded by the Chicken Army and Xiaobao. If you were a dung beetle, would you dare go near it?” Wang Bang was at a loss for words. Hearing this, the little girl cheered up again…